Mystery Date! It's All In the Hips!
by LeviathanLover
Summary: It seems the ever-stoic Sasuke has finally fallen for a girl. Naruto tells Sakura what he overhears, and soon every girl in Konoha is ready and waiting. Who is the lucky lady?


This is not my first story, I also write under the Username LondonAfterMinight (My only fic under that name is the still-ongoing To Be Young, about L's childhood. You know, Deathnote. I haven't updated in almost a year, because I lost a few of my written chapters...while I'm rewriting them, I opened another account so they wouldn't get angry at me)

Sasuke x Mystery Girl! Who will it be?

There she was again...walking down the street, going home after shopping for that weeks groceries.. The swish of her hips, the way her hair fluttered as she walked, her eyes...and that perfect figure. Every inch a woman, not a single flaw. Sasuke wanted her for his own. He had always wondered why he never felt any arousal around the girls of the village...He had thought maybe he was asexual. So he did have a sex drive. This was interesting. Maybe he should get an opinion._

"Kakashi-Sensei."

"Yes?" the Jonin replied lazily, droopy eyes looking up from the latest book in the Make-Out series.

"I need your opinion..." began Sasuke, shifting his weight from side to side,"Uh...There's this girl...and uh..."

Kakashi looked concerned, standing up and reaching out to feel the younger ninja's forehead under his headband.

"You feeling okay? Is that you, Naruto? Sasuke doesn't talk about emotional problems, least of all women."

Angry, Sasuke flashed his sharingan, "It's me." he growled, knocking Kakashi's hand away, "Don't kid around with me. I'm serious."

"Of course you are. Who is it? What's her name?"

Sasuke's eyes darted around nervously. He motioned for Kakashi's ear, and barely breathed the answer.

Kakashi's eyes widened farther than they had ever done. "Oh. I see. I can see how you would, she's a strong girl. That whole clan is. Just promise you won't get too wrapped up. Don't let it interfere with your training."

"I won't. "Sasuke said firmly, but then his voice turned anxious, "So what do I do? I'm a powerful ninja, but I have no clue how to go about-"

"Just leave it to me." Kakashi reassured him, "Now, do you like her, or do you love her?"

"I love her!"

"Good. Now, here's what you have to do..."he began, placing a hand on Sasuke's shoulder and leading him towards town.

In a tree a few feet away, Naruto Uzumaki sniggered mischeviously.

"Sakura! Guess what? You'll never beleive it!"

The pink-haired ninja rolled her eyes and heaved a sigh, pulling three shuriken out of her bag.

"Let me -Guess!" One star hit the target.

"You found a- New!" The second star hit the bullseye.

"brand of -RAMEN!" the last star followed, and Sakura fixed Naruto with a

disdainful glare, "Or something along those lines?"

Naruto gave a maniacal laugh, "No! I was in the forest just now, about to sneak-attack Kakashi-sensei, and then Sasuke showed up, and he was all nervous-"

"Sasuke, Nervous? Puh-leeze, Naruto, he was probably-"

"-and he said he was in LOVE with some girl-"

"WHAT?" the kunoichi shrieked, sending birds flying out of the trees. She grabbed the doofy blond by the collar. "What did you say?"

"Sasuke went to Kakashi-sensei for dating advice!"

Sakura dropped him and ran back to the village._

Over in the Yamanaka flower shop, Ino stood yawning and filing her nails.

"Almost closing time..."she mumbled, then an evil laughter filled her ears.

Her eyes narrowed. "Sakura...What do you want?"

Sakura smirked. "No need to get snotty. It won't help you, especially not when Sasuke asks me out!"

"Why would he ask _you_ out, five-head?" Ino snorted.

"Naruto heard him in the forest, talking to Kakashi-sensei about tactics, pig!"

Ino dropped her nail file, "What? he was talking about YOU?"

"Well.." Sakura looked a little sheepish, " Not EXACTLY me, but I know it was!"

"So, not you, basically. What did he say, exactly?"

"That he was in love with someone and he needed Kakashi's help asking her out."

"So it could be anybody?"

"Well, yeah..."

"So now he's talking tactics with Kakashi-sensei. Like he needs help. Pff, every girl in the village is all over him, Sasuke this, Sasuke that! It makes me sick." Naruto said bitterly.

"I-I see. I'm sorry it makes you angry, N-naruto. Is there...um...anyway I-I can h-help?"

"That's okay Hinata. Sorry I ranted at you..."Naruto sighed, then spun around to face her. "Do you like Sasuke?"

"Oh! N-no. I like...someone else." Hinata blushed and looked to the side.

"Oh. Good. You're probably the only one." Naruto grumbled, looking nonetheless pleased._

News traveled fast in Konoha. Another Naruto Clone got a tidbit of information and passed it along. Sasuke was going to try his luck at the well, where she went every day just before dinnertime to collect water. This particular well was known to have amazing effects on girls' skin. As such, almost every teen girl in the village visited in the afternoon, so it was impossible to know who the lucky girl was just from this knowledge.

What it did insure was that every eligible kunoichi in Konoha was at that well in the afternoon, waiting. Harsh insults were being thrown left and right, and an intoxicating, but slightly nauseating, cloud of perfume hung over the square, every girl having "freshened up".

"Oh my god,here he comes!"

A hush fell as Sasuke effortlessly parted the crowd, making a beeline for the well. Behind his back was clutched a small white box, the gold print obscured by the shinobi's slightly sweating hand.

"Akimichi Hitomi?" Sasuke asked tentatively.

Completely oblivious to the crowd, A plump girl with long, layered red hair looked up, her lengthy eyelashes fluttering. Light blue facial tattoos appeared as a floral double swirl on her cheeks, perfectly matching her kind almond-shaped eyes.

"Yes? That's me." she smiled.

"Uh...guh...muh...uh" Sasuke babbled.

"Yes?" Hitomi said again.

"I'm Uchiha Sasuke." he finally spat out with a bow, "I...I brought you a gift."

He held out the small box.

Taking it in her hands, she carefully pulled the string holding it shut. Inside was a tiny, but exquisite, strawberry cake. Hitomi gasped.

"No way! Oh my gosh! This is from Michiyo's! They only make so many, they always sell out before I can get there! How did you get this? How did you know?" she asked breathlessly.

"I knew you'd love it." Sasuke said with a rare smile, looking releived just the same, "I've seen you around. You always go in there, but always come out looking disappointed. So I asked Michyo-san if he'd make one extra for a very special girl. He owed me a favor."

"Is there anything I can do to repay you?"

"You could let me take you to dinner."

"Good. I'm hungry. Let's go!"

"What, now?" he spluttered.

"Yes, now!" she called over her shoulder, already yards ahead of him, her generous hips swaying as she hurried.

Sasuke stared for a moment, then jogged to catch up with her.

"No...way..." said Sakura, dumbfounded.

Ino just cried.

All the other girls chattered in varying states of misery and disbelief.

"But she's...she's...so..." Sakura spluttered.

"Fat, yeah." nodded Ino, "She a big as both of us put together!"

"But of course, her chest is huge!" added one girl.

"Chest? Did you see the way he was staring at her ASS?" said another.

"But her stomach...if I ever let myself get like that, shoot me." a third grumbled, wrinkling her nose.

"Her thighs were so gross!"

"Her face was so chunky!"

"Is Sasuke crazy?"

"Does she have him under some sort of Love Jutsu?"

A masculine voice broke through the high-pitched wave.

"Did any of you ever consider that maybe Sasuke just doesn't like girls whose skeletons he can see without Sharingan?" queried Shikamaru.

"Watch what you say about my sister!" snapped Choji from beside his best friend.

Up in a nearby tree, Kakashi and Jiraiya shared a laugh.

Comments are love! If I get enough wanting more, I may do either a continuation of SasukexHitomi or another pairing altogether. I do cannon too, don't worry. I'm actually not big on OC's, but there weren't any real characters that fit my story line!


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